The Holidays Can Be Complicated, And That’s Okay

Every year, the holidays arrive with this strange mix of comfort and tension.
There are the foods I look forward to, the rituals I’ve known forever… and then, almost on cue, the uneasy flutter in my chest. It’s like standing between two worlds: the one where I want to savor everything on the table, and the one where I’m bracing for comments, comparisons, or the familiar pressure to “manage” my body.

It took me a long time to realize I wasn’t the only one who felt this.
Holiday gatherings can bring out old memories, old stories, and old patterns, especially around food and body image. Even when we’ve worked hard to unlearn those rules, this season has a way of bringing them back to the surface.

It doesn’t mean we’ve gone backward.
It means we’re human.

Why Food Feels So Much Bigger This Time of Year

There’s something about the holidays that intensifies everything.
Family dynamics. Nostalgia. Stress. The cultural obsession with “getting back on track in January.”

All of that gets piled onto one plate, and suddenly a simple meal feels emotionally louder than expected.

Sometimes the quiet thoughts creep in, like:

• What will people notice about my body this year?

• Will someone say something that makes me want to shrink?

• Why am I suddenly thinking about old food rules I haven’t thought about in ages?

These moments aren’t failures. They’re signals.
They’re reminders of the pressure we’ve absorbed over time, and the tenderness beneath it.

What Supportive Care Can Look Like During the Holidays

This season doesn’t require perfection.
It asks for presence. Gentleness. A little more room to breathe.

Here are a few grounded principles that help:

1. Center Safety, Not Perfection

The goal isn’t to “eat intuitively” in some idealized way.
It’s simply to feel safe enough to enjoy food, rest, and connection.

A soft question to come back to might be:
“What would feel supportive right now?”
Not what’s “right.” Not what’s “healthy.” What’s supportive.

2. Stay Curious About Body Discomfort

When body anxieties or comparisons show up, it’s tempting to power through or shut down.
Curiosity can be gentler.

Questions like:
“Where is this feeling coming from?”
“Is this an old story resurfacing?”

This isn’t about forcing yourself into positivity. It’s about noticing without judgment.

3. Use Gentle Structure When You Need It

We often hear that freedom around food means spontaneity, but predictability can be grounding.

Things like:

• Regular meals

• Hydration

• Retreating for a few minutes of quiet

• Choosing rest even when there’s pressure to socialize

These aren’t restrictions, they’re supports. They help keep the nervous system steady when everything else feels heightened.

You Haven’t Slipped Backward

If the holidays stir up guilt, frustration, or confusion, take a breath before deciding you’ve undone any progress.
You haven’t.

Noticing more isn’t the same as regressing.
Awareness is part of healing, even when it feels uncomfortable or inconvenient.

Your relationship with food is allowed to be layered.
Your relationship with your body is allowed to be tender and evolving.
Your experience doesn’t have to be tidy to be valid.

Maybe this season isn’t about getting through the noise, after all.
Maybe it’s about seeing yourself with a little more honesty and a lot more compassion.

And maybe that’s the most meaningful tradition you can carry forward.